I · am · a · cool · kid!

I am cleaning my house because this morning I slept in for once in my life! Oh my goodness~~~~Once in my life I sleep in, and guess what I get when I wake up...A MESS! Devon and ALejandro tore up the WHOLE entire house! Ugh Curlers half eaten every where....deodorant smashed into the carpet...makeup oho..the poor makeup! These are just some of the things I woke up to. And what exactly were the culprits doing when I spotted them in the middle of this mess? Well, The Chubbie # 1(Devon) was on top of this antique tv we have that I am going to throw away.....ad he is standing up....well, The Chubbie # 2(Alex) was sitting on the floor chanting....jump..jump..jump..oh my goodness. I run into the mix and say no Chubbie 1 do not do it! Do not jump...well he does not listen...Chubbie 2 has warped him into a since of HAVE TO JUMP.....So Devon jumps off of the tv and I swear in my near future I will be calling an ambulance to come get my baby.....I hear me dialing the number...when WHAT he lands...perfectly...better than in the olympics! WOW! I have amazing sons that I love ohh sooo much! Hm...DAMN DIRTY HOUSE! Oh well, I already cleaned up the bathroom and living-room and kitchen! All I have left is Devon's Room, My Room, and HALLWAY! Ugh I hate the hallway the most. And most people would say why it is little Vacuum it and you are done. NO NO NO not in my hallway! In my hallway you must battle the mighty Chubbies that want to go into and out of every room a MILLION AND FIVE times....Hmm. I guess I am through ranting on! How are you Emrys? I wish that your internet would work the way I WANT IT TO! UGH!!!! So yea July 30 I move into my totally KICK ASS new apartment! Yea it is awesome...two POOLs...volleyball...barbeque areas...Fitness...Hmm..I am so excited! It is $508 a month plus phone, electric, and water, and internet...but it is sos ososososososo worth it! Better go Devon and Alejandro are fighting over a toothbrush right now! Hmm...The saga continues!

Well, Today was great..or so I thought, but something ALWAYS has to happen between My Love and I. I just do not understand why Fate is so pissed off at me? Karma tambien! I do not get it. I do the best I can to be a GOOD person..to help people that hate me...Because I love them and Karma gets all pissed because I fall in love with a DAMN DemiGod. SO, Fate says hey girl wonna play games. See if I let you have everything you want. So, now I get everything I want...such as money, clothes, ya know the "Material" shit that everyone is always fighting for; instead of the one thing that I truly want, "Love". All I really want is a Romantic time. I want to have someone hold me, kiss me softly, gently touch me (QUIT BEING A PERVE DAMNIT)and make me feel happy. I want to feel like I belong in this world; On this earth. Ugh...I guess I gave that all away when I challenged Karma and Fate(Karma's overlly protective boyfriend). I want sweet kisses and nights out under the stars(with my babies asleep inside so that I know they are safe and tucked into bed)with the man I love. You win Karma...you win Fate....I will let my love, my DemiGod, my best friend, my strength, my passion...I will let him go, and I swear if you do not leave me alone I will retaliate. KKK for life baby! Fuck you and I am out!

SO yea, My belly button ring keeps hitting eVeRyThInG! Man, I never knew I was such a clutz. Anyways..so I am happy. I had a tif with my special person today, but he got over it and realized I am the BEST! (just kidden) But really he realized it. HAHAHA Ugh, I got a new skirt it is really pretty and white. YEAY! I got a new bra...It is lime green. I got a new shirt that is black and super sexy. It is off of the shoulder and tight. I think it makes me look very sexy, and that is hard.(just kidden) I mean the hard part. I got some new pants that are blu...they are really baggy and they make me look anorexic..SO yea. Ugh..Sunday Mark and I played lights off golf, and I won.YES! Then, we played pool and I won three times in a row.. Score for the home team. I got some new perfume. It is Vanilla Glitter and I got new deoderant it is also Vanilla Glitter. Hmm....pretty ,uch all the stuff I own is Vanilla. SO anyways. YEA.. Well, I am hungry. Ohh my dearest X. All I can think about is you. Guess what....Today when Well SWEAR NOT TO GET MAD AT ME! Today when I walked into 7th Atown came in and kissed me. He like grabbed me and kissed me on the chin because he was too short to reach my mouth! WOW! Talk about Lucky Me! Anyways, I yurn to feel the touch of your sweet lips on mine. Ugh...oh well, guess I will just have to play by myself and my new little toy(naval ring)...BYE GUYS>>>But still


F U C K E V E R Y O N E!

I have been reading all these Pick up lines and they are super dee duper funny!
Attempts Times worked
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see! 3 0
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock! 3 0
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them. 5 0
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me. 4 0
Do you want to see something swell? 4 0
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP! 7 0
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together? 6 0
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks? 2 0
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. 4 0
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples. 2 0
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. 2 0
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family. 5 0
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade. 1 0
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place. 2 0
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks? 2 0
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours? 6 0
Pardon me, are you in heat?! 2 0
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you? 5 0
So, you're a girl huh? 6 1
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes. 1 0
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy. 2 0
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats fiv e. 2 0
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case. 1 0
You make my software turn to hardware! 1 0
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear. 2 0

Submitted Line Attempts Successes
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?" --- ---
If you were a booger I'd pick you first. not enough 0
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere? --- ---
Are you accepting applications for your fan club? --- ---
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me. 10 10
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name? --- ---
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to --- ---
Hi... would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me real hard!! --- ---
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it. --- ---
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself..... --- ---
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. --- ---
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey. --- ---
Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?" --- ---
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine. --- ---
Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick? --- ---
Which one of the Spice girls are you? 54 2
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out. 1 0
Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your tits. --- ---
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it. --- ---
(Used while you and a male friend wear a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts) Mama! --- 0
This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line. Instead, they had to hear that. 0
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus. --- 0
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size. --- 0
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in --- 0
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes. --- 0
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic --- 0
Can I take you to the Bone-yard? --- 0
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!! --- 0
Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather." --- 0
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in. --- 0
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me? --- 0
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately? --- 0
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee? --- 0
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours? 4 -3
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand. --- 0
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc... 15 5
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you. --- 0
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue. --- 0
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons. --- 0
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow. 4 2!!!
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers. Get it? Rushing and Roaming? Haa haa
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position. ? 2
So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. --- 0
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable. --- 0
Can you help me up? My dick is too big. --- 0
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69. --- 0
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show! --- 0
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu. --- 0
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped! --- 0
Good day for weather. --- 0
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.) --- 0
I wet my pants... can I get in yours? --- 0
Got two nipples for a dime? --- 0
Are you Natasha, my contact? --- 0
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me. --- 0
You're so hot, your ass is on fire. 15 12 (I believe this guy)
If you were a dwarf, you'd probably say I got a big dick. --- 0
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being." --- 0
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off. --- 0
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?" --- 0
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts? --- 0
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me. --- 0
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID! --- 0
If I stuck my cock in Ajax for an hour,would you suck it? NO!! Dirty cock sucker! --- 0
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow) --- 0
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle. --- 0
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me! --- 0
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number? --- 0
I think you and I should dipthong. --- 0
I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit. --- 0
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement... --- 0
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money, and walk away. --- 0
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us. --- 0
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3. --- 0
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you? 1 1
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead? --- 0
My name is Justin. Justincredible. --- 0
Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around! --- 0
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood? --- 0
If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool. --- 0
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress! --- 0

When someone tells you they love you, but they don't mean it.

When you see the one you love with the one they love.

When they leave you for someone else.

Telling someone how you feel about them and they don't feel the same about you.

Not knowing if what you have will last.

Wanting someone so bad, but you just can't have them.

When you can never stop thinking about that special someone even though you don't want to think about them anymore.

Wishing you still had them in your arms.

When you'll do anything for them and they don't even give a care.

Letting days go by without hearing anything about them.

Knowing they're so close, and yet so far away.

Loving someone for a long time, but they just want to be friends.

Trying your hardest to get their attention, but it just didn't work.

Being rejected.

Going to sleep thinking about them, knowing they're thinking about someone else... ouch!

When your intentions are good, but they see it the opposite, then they get mad.

Saying good-bye forever... (The Last Everything) The Last Kiss, The Last Hug, The Last Touch!